7 month bumpdate + thoughts on being pregnant during a pandemic
Hey friends! Another couple months have passed and while I didn’t track my outfits as well as I did in May (thanks to moving and unpacking), I did want to document how I’ve been feeling and what pregnant life has been like lately. We’re smack in the third trimester at this point and I’m getting antsier and antsier to meet our sweet girl in a couple of months!
SEVEN MONTH BUMPDATE
HOW FAR ALONG: 31 weeks (!!)
DUE DATE: September 25, 2020
SICKNESS: While I haven’t experienced much nausea since the first trimester, migraines and headaches keep popping up these days (usually when I’ve slacked on my water intake) . I feel like my calves are almost always on the verge of a charlie horse cramp and have been woken up by a cramp multiple times this trimester. I sometimes get a little unsettled stomach if I sit or lay down too soon after eating and end up belching like a teenage boy as soon as I sit up. But overall, these things are more annoyances than persistent maladies.
CRAVING: cereal, like a lot. Fruit Loops, Cocoa Puffs, and Special K have all been on the nightly rotation. Ice cream and fruit popsicles are a freezer staple at this point, too. I eat at least one a day (especially on the hot days). Fruit in general, especially cold fruit straight out of the fridge, has been my go to snack. We’ve had really good luck in picking delicious watermelon lately and it’s been one of the highlights of the summer. Last thing I’ve been craving is the avocado toast from Chocolate Fish Coffee here in Sacramento. It’s the best avo toast in town and we’ve literally driven to Land Park just to get some.
AVERSIONS: Tacos still don’t sound appetizing to me in theory but when we’ve had them on the menu, I’ve totally enjoyed them. Leftovers have been really difficult for me to eat. I have no idea why, but reheated food just doesn’t sound good at all, and I’m usually a person who is down for leftovers!
PHYSICAL CHANGES: My belly button is officially an outie and I’ve definitely got some stretch marks happening around my belly button. I can see a slight linea negra (that dark line that sometimes shows up on a pregnant belly) but nowhere near as dark as it was with Isaac. If I see a baby crying on TV I can feel the verrrry beginnings of a letdown start, so I’m guessing my milk will come in pretty quickly this time around. My hair isn’t as thick as it was last time, in fact it kind of feels the same as my pre-pregnancy hair. Baby girl is definitely growing and starting to push up on my lungs, so breathing can get a little difficult here and there. I'm also getting to the point where even my maternity pants are starting to feel tight and uncomfortable, so I’ll transition into wearing mostly dresses pretty soon. And last but not least, the Braxton-Hicks contractions are fairly common, even if I’m staying hydrated. they’re especially triggered when I bend over, which happens quite a lot with a two-year-old running around! I’m looking at it as breathing practice for when real labor arrives! 😅
MENTAL HEALTH: This has been an interesting one to confront this month. After the adrenaline rush of finding a new apartment/moving/half-unpacking ran out, I realized that covid hasn’t really subsided the way I (naively) hoped it would this summer. I had to confront the reality that my slim hope for a baby sprinkle of close friends and family wasn’t safe. Everyone is handling the pandemic differently because everyone is making different risk calculations.
Personally, it didn’t feel right to expose myself or Brandon or Izzy just for a party. And I get that a baby sprinkle/shower isn’t “just a party,” it’s a chance to celebrate new life. But with no sign of the virus going away, I feel the best way for me to celebrate my baby girl’s life is to protect it.
Has it come at a price? Yes. I'‘m grieving the loss of a big, beautiful party with my family and friends where we eat good food and play games and laugh and communally share our excitement for this new chapter of life. I’m mourning the connection I so wanted to cultivate this year. I’m grieving what I pictured our last summer as a family of three being like. I’m mourning the loss of the blissful anticipation I hoped for for this pregnancy — my family won’t be able to meet our daughter until we’re out of the hospital. There’s no in/out privileges once we check into the hospital, so now packing a hospital bag also needs to include packing food for Brandon to eat during our stay.
It’s weird to be in a place where you’re grieving the loss of predictability while also looking forward to the change a new baby will bring. It’s just…complicated. I almost feel like a first time mom again because I have no reference for what my care will look like once I go into labor. I kind of know what to expect with my body, I know what my general birth plan is, but the details of how that will happen (will I have to wear a mask? will the nurses come in only to check the baby’s heartbeat and my dilation?) are all unknown, and that has been very, very hard to wrap my head around.
I always feel the need to neatly wrap up my intense feelings to make them more palatable, but to be honest, I’m just feeling raw. I’ve shed a lot of tears and I expect to shed more. I’m also looking for the pockets of peace and joy daily, because I know I have a tendency to sit in the sadness. I guess the tidy takeaway from all of this is: I’m holding space for both grief and joy. It’s been really hard to be pregnant during a pandemic AND I’m constantly finding little ways to celebrate without the social aspect.
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31 weeks down, 9 to go! This next month is going to be jam packed with pregnancy and baby related posts, so I hope you’re ready. I always meant to put together posts like a registry guide, nursery reveal, and pregnancy essentials when I was expecting Izzy and just never did, so part of how I’m celebrating baby girl’s arrival is by sharing that content this time around!
Stay safe and take care ,
Alex
